life is moveable...(p.43)
“Nothing endures but change.”
-Heraclitus
Why is change so hard?
Why do I cling so tightly to what I know?
I move about my life in a predictable way.
Somehow, I have given merit to what I think I know.
I have filled books with my definitions.
Life is moveable.
At any moment, I can choose differently.
My hand is always on the rudder.
I am either holding the course or
turning my sail.
There is so much comfort in the steady hand,
I know the rules. I know the way.
Even with storms,
this path feels the safest.
Changing direction
always requires work.
Routine cannot take hold where I have not yet traveled.
I do not know the rules. I do not know the way.
I need to plot a new map.
my hand… unsure
my heart…races
This mix of minds
Excites and chases.
My mind craves for what I know,
My heart longs for what I don’t.
There it is…
the pull.
The unknown, on one side,
the ever-familiar known, on the other.
Each tug to rule.
To quiet the pull is hard…so…very…hard
Sometimes I cannot. And I understand.
My thirst must become so unquenchable
that I have no choice.
Sometimes, I have to break,
have all my pieces scattered on the floor
in order to find my way.
It takes something stronger than courage.
It takes a belief.
A belief in myself,
A belief that life is cheering me on from behind the veil.
This step changes everything.
Everything that I have known
I trade for what I don’t.
I hold my breath and bet it all.
Stepping out onto that narrow wire,
wind blowing, I feel my breath and hear my heart.
One feels more alive when afraid.
How ironic.
I must be so scared
To feel so much.
Much of my life comes from staying the course.
And it is necessary.
It’s easier to go far when I know the way.
But I must recognize the shift in winds,
and when it is time to veer… and stray.
When I feel the pull
I have a choice…it writes my next chapter.
That is how my story unfolds.
It’s not a test.
Life does not grade,
yet, I learn with every question.
I must rethink the word unknown.
And see instead, a brand new map, and not the edge of one.
I mustn’t be afraid.
This uncontrollable pull towards what I know,
will keep me anchored where I am.
The steady hand is good,
but so is the wind that blows.
Life is moveable.
It’s not meant for only
one map, one sea, or one shore.
When it is time,
I must be brave
For if I am not,
My story might not hold all of its lines. ❤️
