no, thank you...(p.27)

Thoughts…we all have them.

It's like an endless ticker board scrolling constantly.

Newspapers write about the ever-increasing amount of anxious adults

and I think, Of course, isn't everyone?

But I know logically this is not the case.

No, not everyone thinks as I do.

It's exhausting sometimes.

Nothing seems to quiet it once it begins, sometimes…sleep… exercise…and prayer (my favorite).

My exact thoughts are not important.

They are far too random and quick and would be too hard to list.

I don't wish to keep up with them.

I don't wish to wake them.

Throughout the years, I have felt that “weaknesses” aren't qualities I should share about myself,

especially this one.

Other people can of course, and I understand entirely,

but not for me…I have to be strong, capable, reliable…

I can have no cracks.

Oh, the amount of glue I have used.

Broken is what I fear I would see in someone's eyes if they knew.

Why am I writing this? Not wholly sure, except that it was on my heart to share.

When thoughts come, I feel like a little girl hiding in the corner wanting the bad dream to end.

Then, at some point, I decide to stand, become brave, and wake up.

I stand first. This is the hardest part. Then I feel brave.

My thoughts do not shift on their own. I must do something first.

Faith helps me stand sooner.

God shared with me,

As thoughts enter, say, "no, thank you".

One at a time, with every one, I repeat, "no, thank you"

Most leave until they want to visit again, to which I will repeat over and over, "no, thank you".

I am not weak. Quite the opposite. I am one of the bravest people I know.

So are you, if you see a part of yourself in my words.

People have challenges; they all range.

We are given the exact ones we can handle, learn from,

and if we are all lucky, USE.

It is from our cracks that we can help others.

I have to remind myself of this.

I have no answers but only a raised hand letting you know if you share this challenge,

you are not alone…far from it.

Hopefully, your eyes only see my strength.

My love to you all. ❤️

This is only my experience. I do not have a medical background. This is not medical advice.