beauty in disguise (p.4)
“We can’t find the truth listening to our own voice’s echo. We can find ourselves only in someone’s mirror”
Rumi
Sir Frank Dicksee’s “The Mirror” painting
I must say, I am seeing beauty in unexpected places.
This week had highs and lows and there was a definite thread that was woven throughout it.
Relationships with people aren’t as straightforward as one might think. And when feelings are involved, it’s easy to have blinders on and only see in one direction, our own.
I have slowly learned that I must see my part, no matter how “clear-cut” I might think a situation is. There is a role I play and something I need to see.
What I have learned years ago is that people are mirrors and they give us glimpses into ourselves. What we see in a situation is not the same as what someone else sees, even if they are standing next to you. No two people will see the exact same thing because no two people are alike.
What is it that we see from their mirrors? Something we can learn about ourselves.
The best thing one can do is to acknowledge what is happening, ask yourself “what is my part?” and then listen. That very question will start to change everything at that moment, for you and the other person. You will say your words differently and they will hear your words differently. You no longer will be on the defense but open.
Really listen to the other person with both your ears, both your eyes and with a clear mind. You could describe this type of attention as a meditation, where all your thoughts are focused on a one-word mantra or coming back to your breath, this person is your one-word mantra or breath. It’s not as easy as it sounds, at least it isn’t for me.
Let’s be clear, I am not saying this makes the other person “right”. I am just giving us another perspective, and something to think about.
Have you ever had a time where you reacted to someone that no one else did? No one could see exactly why that person affected you the way they did? There is nothing wrong with you or them, please remember that. There is just an area that you need to give some attention, to understand what is at the root of it.
When we start to ask ourselves why this situation was affecting us, and we keep our inquisitive thoughts, glimpses of reasons will begin to appear.
So as you can see, beauty this week was truly in disguise at first. It wasn’t particularly pretty at those moments, but what came afterward, what I realized about myself, how things shifted…that was beautiful.
I am writing this letter more for me than you. I realize this won’t be the last time I experience these things. But hopefully, I will know more next time, be open quicker, listen deeper, and see my reflection clearer.
Have a beautiful week.❤️
